Commitment as an intuitive action...

Since commitment has been a word that keeps surfacing since my time in Bali, I've decided to make a renewed commitment to this blog space. Commitment in believing there is a reason I decided to begin in the first place, and a commitment in the continuation of that belief. And, I am choosing to believe that whatever I need to say will flow with ease and for It's own purpose.

There has been lots of change around here for me, and most of these changes have revolved around a new understanding of commitment. While commitment can often be associated with a type of finality, or completion, or even a sense of 'irreversiblity'...I have discovered that within commitment there can be a HUGE amount of freedom. And not only that, but commitment doesn't have to necessarily mean you have made a final decision and there is no going back - instead, I'm beginning to see that commitment can actually be a more fluid action. It is a way of moving forward intuitively and boldly - whether on the canvas or in life.

The shift I'm experiencing now was propelled by a commitment to self-love I made in Bali, which I mentioned in my last post. I didn't anticipate this to impact every part of my life to the extent that it has, but I'm glad that it has. Not that it is particularly easy to shift from past patterns of thinking and ways of approaching life...it's definitely an ongoing shift. One area of huge change has been the need to really nurture my whole being. Part of this has been changing my whole perception of food and becoming more conscious of what I am eating (there is a whole other post there). I hadn't realised how far down on my priority list my own health had become - which seems ridiculous but I know that it is such a common spiral. In a time where everything seems "important" and there are so many of these "important" things to juggle it is too easy to let go of self-love and to not prioritise health and wellbeing.    (Let me just say it is pretty scary when you start reading what is included on food labels!).

The other major shift I'm feeling is a release of old negative patterns of thinking related what or how I think others may see me. I've been gradually releasing these patterns for such a long time, but hadn't realised that it was only myself standing in my way. What would it look like if I didn't have these fears or self-doubt? What choices would be different? What commitments would I make?

I guess this is also where my painting process is my teacher, because so often these are the questions that come up layer after layer. This is where my perception and understanding of what is happening on the canvas has changed for me. I feel more freedom in the commitments I make on the canvas - less hesitation to just do what feels good and right in the present moment. I'm seeing so many of my paintings transform completely - paintings that have sat there for months because I've felt 'stuck' have evolved dramatically by answering questions like these.

This idea of being able to follow what feels right intuitively is extending out into other areas of my life too and allowing me to make the commitment to put these 'truths' into action. The challenge (or commitment?) is to the continuum of self-love despite feelings of doubt and inadequacy. This action, perhaps is an acknowledgement that those emotional responses are contradictory to inner truth. Perhaps the commitment to intuitive action can re-write these stories on a deeper soul level and make it possible to live more closely to your own truth, your own potential.

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.' We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people will not feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It is not just in some of us; it is in everyone and as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give others permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others"
Marianne Williamson

** Love, Peace, Joy and Gratitude **